The Best Films of 2014

There was a lot to talk about in 2014. I say this for two reasons: there were a number of terrific films released that were worthy of praise. And, it seemed to me at least, that this year was filmed with riveting conversation about film. Critics and casual filmgoers put racism, sexism and homophobia under a microscope, taking the time to examine the industry itself and various releases from the past few months. Discussing film, in any capacity, has always been my passion of mine, but the scope of the average conversation broadened and, while it was certainly frustrating at times, it was awfully engaging.

            As I made my Top 10 list for the year (always a difficult task), I couldn’t help but notice that all of these films ignited a conversation in my life about the state of film and representation. I can’t think of a better thing for films to provide. Additionally, all ten of these films are, obviously, quite well made and awfully entertaining. By my count, I’ve watched 124 films from 2014 since last February. I don’t even want to calculate how much time that was (especially when you consider that I watched around 250 other films in that same amount of time). But I don’t regret a second of it.

So, let’s look back at 2014…

THE WORST of 2014

Let’s start with the bad ones:

            I guess it’s a good thing that I didn’t see enough bad films to truly contemplate making a Worst of 2014 list. But, if you watch 124 bad films, you’re bound to see a few blunders.

            It feels too easy to say that Transformers: Age of Extinction was the worst film of 2014. But it probably was. At a punishing 165 minutes, the film is offensive to anyone with taste and/or anyone who isn’t a Conservative white male. Michael Bay’s penchant for ethnic stereotypes, scantily clad woman and noisy explosions is becoming more and more obnoxious with each film, and I think I may have reached my breaking point. I can’t possibly imagine anyone anticipating another one of these messes, but I don’t think I’ll be seeing it.

            Elsewhere, we have Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, which came about 9 years too late and brought absolutely nothing new to the table. Its predecessor has earned its status as a cult classic, but after nearly a decade of waiting for a follow-up, Miller & Rodriquez seemed to have little to no passion for the material and just tried to re-do everything that worked in the original. It was an absolute waste of time. 2014 also brought us Let’s Be Cops, a comedy about the abuse of police power that came out at just about the worst time imaginable. Still, regardless of the political climate, it’s hard to imagine anyone being won over by this obnoxious comedy that makes two very funny men unbearable comedic presences. There isn’t a laugh to be had in the whole runtime. And, no matter what your opinions may be of American Sniper, it is most certainly not Clint Eastwood’s worst film of 2014. That would be Jersey Boys, a clumsily written musical that showcases some atrocious acting and bland set design. If you enjoy listening to overdone Jersey accents, or really love this music, you might enjoy it. If not, look elsewhere.

            Also worth noting: 2014 brought us some terrific female characters, and films that took misogyny to task. But there were still some aggressively sexist movies. Most upsetting is Jason Reitman’s Men, Women and Children. Not only is the drama an examination of modern technology that feels like it was written by an 80 year old, but its gender politics are disgusting. Just look at the way it treats virginity: a man being unable to lose his virginity is something to be mourned. But if a woman does it, it’s the first domino struck down in their long downward spiral. When a man screws up: all is forgiven. When a woman screws up: she must seek forgiveness from her husband. After this and last year’s Labor Day, I’m starting to wonder if Jason Reitman’s good films were accidents. Zach Braff’s Wish I Was Here was also fairly questionable with its depiction of women, its obsessive focus on White People Problems, and the way it laughs off sexual harassment. But, outside of those issues, it also has a ridiculous premise and cringe-worthy performances. So, nothing to see there. Finally, we come to Filth, a film that’s moderately interesting for some of its runtime, but mistakes offensive humor for just being offensive. No minority group is safe from this disgusting film, which left me feeling dirty.

THE DOCUMENTARIES of 2014

            I don’t think its fair to hold documentaries on the same level as narrative features, so I’ll devote some space here for the films that I definitely think are worth seeking out. Unfortunately, I was not able to see the most celebrated documentary of the year, Citizenfour. But there was no shortage of great documentaries.

          

  Of course, Life Itself was my favorite of the year. How could it not be? Anyone who knows me well knows that Roger Ebert was a major influence in my life, encouraging me to pursue journalism as a career and broaden my love of film. Life Itself was a film that was made for me to love. But, even with my affections won over at an early point, I was still surprised at how honest and beautiful this film was. Its depiction of Ebert’s cancer and treatments is courageous, and its look into the famous film critic’s life is highly entertaining.

            Some other highlights: Finding Vivian Maier is a fascinating look at a woman whose life was made for the movies. It’s best to go in somewhat blind, but at a brisk 84 minutes, it’s very easy to get swept up in the unique story. As for more serious matters, The Overnighters is a thought-provoking examination of one pastor’s quest to help the unemployed. It deals with a lot of controversial issues, but puts a human face on them all, forcing the viewer to reconsider their beliefs at multiple points. Rich Hill is a devastating, occasionally aimless look at three teens living in poverty. It’s a tad bit exploitative, but it’s certainly compelling. And cinephiles will likely enjoy Jordorowsky’s Dune, which offers a chance to see an amazingly ambitious film that never made it to the big screen.

THE FILMS THAT ALMOST MADE THE LIST

            2014 was a year filled with films worth praising, and it’s always upsetting to see great films get left off the list. But, at the same time, being forced to leave films off the list means you watched more great films than you can count on both hands. So I guess it’s a good thing? Anyway:

            The most egregious snub from my personal Top 10 is Birdman, which is undeniably well made and wonderfully acted. It kills me to not include it on the list, but there just aren’t enough slots. I’m equally upset that James Gray’s woefully under seen The Immigrant had to be left off, especially since I’m still haunted by some of its imagery and deeply upsetting moments. Despite not making the list, they are both amongst the best of the year.

           

Some other films I loved: Jennifer Kent’s terrifying The Babadook left me on the edge of my seat throughout. She’s a welcome new voice in the horror genre. Chris Rock left no emotional stone unturned in Top Five, which plays as the slightly more optimistic cousin to Birdman. It’s an incredibly enjoyable ride. The coolest movie of 2014 may be Only Lovers Left Alive, a hugely creative vampire film starring the always-wonderful Tilda Swinton. David Gordon Green reminded me why Nicholas Cage is an actor worth rooting for Joe, a coming of age story that evolves into a violent but compelling story of redemption. Cage is terrific in the titular role. While it’s a tad bit too bland, The Imitation Game is a well-written and undeniably powerful drama. And, while they both have their own set of problems, Dear White People and Chef are two of the funniest films I saw this year. The former is also incredibly thought provoking, while the latter wears its heart on its sleeve in the best way possible.

            Also: while they may not be the most serious films of 2014, Guardians of the Galaxy and X-Men: Days of Future Past were both hugely entertaining blockbusters, as was the South Korean import Snowpiercer. It’s also worth noting that How to Train Your Dragon 2 was my favorite animated film of 2014.

Anyway, without further adieux…

THE 10 BEST FILMS of 2014

10.) Wild (dir. Jean-Marc Vallée)

An empowering experience, as well as a hugely absorbing drama, Wild is the earthly, feminist version of Gravity that I didn’t know I wanted. Deglamorizing oneself is one of the oldest tricks in the “Give Me An Oscar, Dammit” handbook, but something about Witherspoon’s performance here feels completely genuine and powerful. This is brave work for an A-list star, forcing her to bare all both literally and figuratively for the camera. The smart script by Nick Hornby, as well as some astonishing editing, frames the story in an interesting way, and providing more than a few well-earned emotional moments. After the well-acted by blandly directed Dallas Buyers Club, Vallée emerges as a filmmaker worth paying attention to. But this is Witherspoon’s show. After initiating the “McConaugheissance” last year, hopefully Vallée made this the first page of Reese’s Reformation.

9.) Pride (dir. Matthew Warchus)

At 120 minutes, Pride doesn’t waste a minute of its runtime being anything but a lovable drama. As hilarious as it is heartbreaking, Matthew Warchus’ relatively under-seen gay-rights drama has one thesis: the violation of someone’s rights, for any reason, is an issue for everyone. Thanks to an intelligent script and committed ensemble, Pride is almost ridiculously entertaining, weaving together many different but equally compelling characters into a story that’s worth cheering for. Few films about hot-button issues are as comfortable in their own shoes as this one, which embodies the old adage, “kill them with kindness.” It’s difficult to imagine anyone walking away from this without a smile on their face. And, even if a great script and terrific actors isn’t your thing, this film has a scene where one-time Oscar nominee Imelda Staunton waves an oversized dildo in the air. And that’s something we should all celebrate.

           

8.) Inherent Vice (dir. Paul Thomas Anderson)

Inherent Vice won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. But then again, hippie culture isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Neither is marijuana. And this film has both of those in spades. I don’t think Paul Thomas Anderson tried to make a film for everyone here and, honestly, we’re all better off for it. Despite claims to the contrary, Inherent Vice really isn’t a confusing film. It’s just a film that tells a rather simple story in the most complicated, convoluted way possible. And while it might be a mystery, it sure doesn’t feel that way. Inherent Vice is one of the funniest films of the year, constantly surprising the audience with eccentric characters and outlandish plot developments. It’s also, at times, a beautiful love story and a sad drama. It might even have a deeper subtext to it. But, regardless, it’s the type of film that only Paul Thomas Anderson can make. And it has both his trademarks: a sprawling ensemble of talented actors and the seamless blend of genres.  Above all things, Inherent Vice is a reminder as to why he’s one of the best, if not the best, directors working today.

7.) Obvious Child (dir. Gillian Robespierre)

For a film that centers almost entirely on the endlessly debated topic of abortion, Obvious Child is shockingly apolitical. While an abortion may be the propelling force to the entire plot, it does not once call its heroine’s actions into question. Instead, it uses its story as a method of giving women a voice. Much like our protagonist, Donna, uses her stand-up comedy as a way to discuss her problems with the world, Obvious Child is a comedy that wants its readers to think as they laugh. And they certainly do both in equal measure. Jenny Slate, whose finally given a chance to shine as the protagonist, is absolutely hilarious. And a smart screenplay lets Obvious Child be an unusual twist on the romantic comedy genre, as well as a look at the problems women face today and the huge strives forward they’ve taken already. Many comedies from 2014 will make you laugh, but few will make you think as much as this one does.

6.) Selma (dir. Ava DuVernay)

With Selma, Ava DuVernay emerges as a new voice in film that’s worth paying attention to. A combination of Spielberg and Spike Lee, but without each of their negative qualities, DuVernay takes what could have been a stuffy biopic and makes it one of the year’s more powerful cinematic experiences. While she doesn’t put Martin Luther King Jr. on a pedestal, and focuses almost entirely on the strategies employed during the Selma marches, DuVernay doesn’t forget to bring a wallop of emotional intensity to the big screen. Her filmmaking is loud, vibrant and energetic, with a handful of sequences being amongst the best of the year. The face of the film, David Oyelowo, is also someone to watch out for: his transformation into King is not just commendable, but almost scarily convincing. Much like 2012’s Lincoln, Selma is a political drama that offers a comprehensive look at a particular moment in history. It is not to be missed.

5.) Nightcrawler (dir. Dan Gilroy)

In 1976, Sidney Lumet’s Network predicted a world where TV stations were more concerned with ratings than they were with journalistic efforts, let alone basic human decency. In 2014, Dan Gilroy’s Nightcrawler shows that many of those predictions have come true. This is a film that’s so creepy and unsettling that it just leaves you feeling dirty. Yet, I wouldn’t argue if you called it a comedy. Gilroy transports you into the mind of a psychopath, played wonderfully by Jake Gyllenhaal, and leaves you no option but to revel in it. At this psycho’s side is Rene Russo’s equally fascinating Nina, a woman who is victimized by our “protagonist”, but plays along with his twisted tactics for career success. This is the film about modern journalism the world needed, and by making it so damn entertaining, Gilroy proves how desensitized we’ve already become to unethical reporting.

4.) The Grand Budapest Hotel (dir. Wes Anderson)

Wes Anderson has the unusual ability to make unique films each and every time he gets behind a camera. His style is so unique, almost to the point of parody, that his shtick should have gotten tiring three movies ago. Yet, he constantly finds a way to reenergize his style and craft a compelling film. Grand Budapest Hotel is, like all his films, colorful, humorous, zany and oddly sad. But it’s also just an example of great filmmaking in every possible regard. The costumes, sets, cinematography, score and make-up are amongst the best of 2014, if not the best. The story is also beautiful and original. And Ralph Fiennes, as the film’s incredibly strange protagonist, delivers one of my favorite performances of the year. He’s a comedic tour de force. Watching Grand Budapest Hotel made me realize: it’s in sheer filmmaking ability that Anderson makes his films different. He’s such a talented filmmaker, and his movies are so good, that their individuality cannot be denied. It reminded me that I know what to expect when I watch an Anderson film: a damn good film.

3.) Boyhood (dir. Richard Linklater)

Boyhood and all those involved with it have already cemented themselves into film history. It goes without saying that Richard Linklater’s twelve-year experiment is unlike anything we’ve seen before, framing a coming-of-age story in real time that feels both invested in its own era as well as timeless. But judged purely as a film, Linklater’s Boyhood is a really beautiful, compelling story about the moments that actually shape our life. The film doesn’t focus on the big moments, like birthdays or graduations or deaths, but the little, quiet exchanges that leave a lasting impression. The most dramatic moments almost always take place off screen. And, while Boyhood is the quintessential coming-of-age story, it’s about how developing as a person goes far beyond childhood. Just look at the way Linklater mirrors young Mason’s upbringing with his mother’s quest to make a better life for herself and, more importantly, her children. The film is a love letter to growing up and a salute to single mothers everywhere. Mason’s life may be filled with unique details, but this is a story that everyone can find a little bit of themselves in.

2.) Gone Girl (dir. David Fincher)

About twenty-five years ago, Glenn Close struck fear into the hearts of men when she boiled Michael Douglass’ bunny. For years, Fatal Attraction was the “marriage thriller”: it reminded men to stay faithful to their wives, or else some crazy woman might try to kill his family. And while Fatal Attraction may be a good film, the message always rubbed me the wrong way: why does Douglass escape the film scotch free? After all, he did cheat on his wife. Why is he the hero? This year, David Fincher attempted to become the new “marriage thriller”, and his take on the subgenre is far more progressive. Gone Girl is both a twist-filled mystery and a Rorschach test about how we feel about gender roles. The film takes us all to talks for perpetuating a culture that tells women they must be perfect for their men, while also telling men that they’re entitled to a great life with a trophy wife by their side. Gillian Flynn’s ingenious screenplay (based on her equally fascinating novel), coupled with David Fincher’s meticulous direction, makes Gone Girl as entertaining as it is thought provoking. And, for what it’s worth, Rosamund Pike’s Amy is far more compelling than Glenn Close’s one-dimensional villainess.

1.)  Whiplash (dir. Damien Chazelle)

In terms of sheer filmmaking, the choice of the year’s best film is, to me, undeniable. Whiplash is one of the most exciting films of the year. It’s also a stunning debut for 29-year-old Damien Chazelle. I can only imagine what treasures the rest of his career will bring. With Whiplash, Chazelle uses drumming solos as action scenes, creating a knot in the viewer’s stomach that tightens as they proceed. Its foul-mouthed, exhilarating screenplay is both hugely entertaining and dark. The ending, which is easily the best final sequence of the year, can be seen in one of two ways: either it’s a complete blast, or incredibly depressing. The script is deceptively simple, using its plot as an allegory for the quest to success. In a year filled with exciting cinematic conversation, Whiplash offers a chilling question: how far is too far when it comes to finding success? It blows my mind that someone so young and inexperienced could make a film so beautifully made. It’s just a brilliant piece of filmmaking. Every year, I look for one film that I think will truly stand the test of time and constantly recreate the feeling of exhilaration I had when first experiencing it. This year, there were many possibilities, but my top choice seemed easy. Whiplash is the film I’m most passionate about this year. It is, to me, the best film of 2014.

It’s been quite a year. And it’s nice to know that the second the 87^th Best Picture winner is announced, a whole new year of great movies begins. I look forward to becoming passionate about a whole new batch of stunning films.

Thanks for reading. See you at the movies!

The Top 10 Films of 2013

2013- a year filled with great movies. While many of the films I was most looking forward to proved to be disappointments, it was the surprises and sheer significance of the films that lived up to expectations that made it a year worth celebrating. New standards in technical filmmaking were set, and important movies were made. Master directors released excellent new films, and first time directors burst onto the scene with huge displays of talent. This has been a year to remember.

Narrowing down to a list of ten has proven extremely difficult. For one thing, there are so many movies that may not reach greatness but are still good and worthy of praise, and I'm hoping that they are not forgotten about. Films like Enough Said, The Place Beyond the Pines and Dallas Buyers Club are all worth paying attention to, as are foreign dramas like Wadjda and The Hunt. And in terms of blockbuster entertainment, Hollywood managed to surprise me with Baz Luhrmann's surprisingly competent interpretation of The Great Gatsby, as did Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen with their unpredictable and hilarious This is the End. The great films are certainly worth signaling out, but the good films are not worth forgetting. And even if we're only talking about great films, there were so many released over the course of the last year that having to leave some off the final list was an impossible challenge. So while these ten films are, in my opinion, the best of the 100 releases from 2013 I have seen, there are dozens of others that deserve to be seen. Don't forget to check those out too!

But, it's Oscar Sunday, so it's time to honor the very best. So, without further adieux...

HONORABLE MENTIONS 

(the films that just barely missed the list)

Ain't Them Bodies Saints * American Hustle * August: Osage County * Before Midnight * 

The Conjuring * Prisoners * Spring Breakers * The Way, Way Back

And here are the ten that made the cut...

The 10 Worst Films of 2013

2013 wasn't a particularly outrageous year in terms of offensively bad films, and I find it almost ridiculous to complain about the bad films we did have thrown at us when there were so many wonderful movies released this year too. Yet, here I am. If anything, consider this list a cautionary tale of films to avoid at all costs- you don't want to sit through these movies.

Dishonorable mentions

(Not necessarily awful films, but movies that either missed an opportunity for greatness 

or left me completely disappointed).

Admission * A.C.O.D. * Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues * The Bling Ring * The Counselor * Don Jon * Elysium * Pacific Rim * Star Trek Into Darkness

But none of those come close to these ten films...

10.) Labor Day (dir. Jason Reitman)

Putting a Jason Reitman film on a list that isn't celebrating the best films of the year is breaking my heart a little but, unfortunately, Labor Day is a movie having a massive identity crisis. The film has all the trappings of a sappy romance story, complete with an overly sentimental ending and overwrought declarations of love. But the film never seems to acknowledge the inherent creepiness of its story- and I'm not just talking about the fact that Kate Winslet's onscreen son makes her "Husband for a Day" coupons and reflects on the fact that he can never fulfill his mother's sexual desires. I'm talking about the fact that Josh Brolin's Frank is a criminal that takes a family hostage, only to become a hunky romantic lead twenty minutes later. Reitman seems to think that having Frank fill the shoes left behind by his hostage/love interest's ex-husband and showing young Henry how to do traditional "boy" things will make the audience forgive the fact that he is a convicted murderer taking advantage of a mentally challenged woman and a helpless boy. But none of that works, and the film constantly plays like a straightforward love story, making many sequences creepy and tonally uneven- especially when Frank is tying Kate Winslet's Adele to a chair so that she does not run away, an awkward moment that tries (and fails) to be a sensual moment between the two. Credit must be given to Winslet for trying her hardest to bring life to a poorly written character, but the film is a mess of outdated gender roles and tired clichés. 

9.) Stoker (dir. Chan-wook Park)

What is Stoker? A moody horror film? A psychological thriller? A thinly veiled metaphor about a woman's sexual awakening? I'm asking because I literally have no idea. Stoker is a beautiful looking film, but a film needs more than nice cinematography to stand out in the crowd. Chan-wook Park's English language debut is the art house equivalent of a summer blockbuster- there are a lot of pretty things to look at, but nothing going on underneath. Stoker throws every possible subtext to the wall and hopes that some of it sticks, but it never amounts to much more than a silly horror-soap opera. There are individual moments that are visually pleasing, but you can say the same thing about any of the Transformers movies. A movie should leave you wanting to return to it, but searching "Stoker" on Google Images would be quicker, easier and cheaper than ever having to sit through this again.

8.) The Lone Ranger (dir. Gore Verbinski)

The Lone Ranger is one of the strangest summer blockbusters to hit the big screen in quite some time. Usually films this expensive try to connect with the broadest possible audience, often playing it safe and not doing anything all that new or interesting. Yet, The Lone Ranger, a film with a notoriously high budget and well documented production problems, seems to go out of its way to limit its appeal. One minute, we have a fart joke. The next, a character is threatened with castration. An ongoing gag involves a horse taking swigs of beer. An ongoing plot line involves a man who cuts out the hearts of his victims and eats it. Subplots include an innocent little boy learning about the titular hero, as well as a strangely disturbing look at the genocide of the Native American people. And while I don't have facts to back this up, I'd be willing to bet that this movie has the most threats of rape ever for a Walt Disney Picture. I'm fine with a film trying to be different, but a film can't bounce back and forth between trying to be traditional summer movie fare and an edgy, adult oriented western. And, of course, being about forty minutes too long doesn't exactly help its case.

And don't get me started on the fact that Johnny Depp played Tonto...

7.) Thor: The Dark World (dir. Alan Taylor)

Thor: The Dark World might have the worst line of dialogue from 2013- "You must think I'm a piece of bread that needs to be buttered so heavily." But the film is so bland, unremarkable and poorly written that, by the end of the film, you'd be willing to forgive Anthony Hopkins for ever uttering a line so horrid if it meant getting out of the theater. While virtually every film ever made is a cash grab of some sort, you can practically feel the folks at Marvel reaching into your back pocket and taking all your money. Nobody here seems interested or passionate about what they're doing- the writing is uninspired, the direction is pedestrian, and the action scenes are nothing more than various CGI creatures smashing into one another. It also doesn't help that Chris Hemsworth is an awfully boring star,  and that Natalie Portman gives new meaning to the phrase "phoning it in." But who can blame her? Portman, one of the most talented actresses working today, is stuck playing a woman who becomes unable to care about anything going on around her when her sort-of boyfriend leaves Earth. And the film's obsession with shoving Tom Hiddlestone down our throats grows tiresome. Yes, Hiddlestone is charming and likable, but when characters do stupid things just so the audience can get more time with Loki you are actually doing a disservice to your fans. Thor: The Dark World was meant to be an appetizer for 2015's highly anticipated sequel to The Avengers, but it only served as a reminder to what Joss Whedon brings to the table and all other Marvel films lack: strong female leads, interesting action scenes and stories that actually warrant being told.

6.) Paradise (dir. Diablo Cody)

Diablo Cody is one of the most polarizing figures to enter Hollywood in recent memory, but I've always been a fan of her creative dialogue and interesting characters. Juno was an excellent debut film, and one that has held up remarkably well, while 2011's criminally underrated Young Adult showed signs that the stripper-turned-blogger-turned Oscar winning screenwriter was growing more mature, and more intelligent, with age. So...what happened? Paradise, Cody's latest screenplay and directorial debut, feels like a huge step back for her. The film wants to be an edgy look at religion, focusing on the ridiculousness of mega-churches and uber-conservative Christians, while also remaining optimistic about life and showing the importance of believing in a higher power. But Cody's dialogue lacks bite, wit, well constructed ideas or interesting characters. Cody's scripts are typically confident, but she seems all too self-conscious here, with ideas that only feel half formed and attempts at satire that fall flat. It also doesn't help that her star, Julianne Hough, is hugely miscast. Ellen Page and Charlize Theron both knew how to use Cody's dialogue to their advantage, creating characters that feel quirky but believable. But Hough's narrations sound like a high school student struggling to understand the poem she's reading out loud. With Cody's last fluke, Jennifer's Body, we at least have Karyn Kusama to blame for the film's uneven tones. But, with Paradise, the blame lies solely on Cody's shoulders.

5.) Now You See Me (dir. Louis Leterrier)

Plot twists work because they are surprising, but believable. They have to be grounded in some sense of reality, or at least in the sense of reality created by the movie's screenwriters. That's what makes Now You See Me so frustrating- it has no sense of reality. The plot twists are surprising only because they happen independently of everything that has happened in the movie so far. It's like watching a "whodunit" mystery, only to have the killer be a character that was never mentioned before the big reveal. For a film with a massive ensemble cast of talented actors, it's pretty remarkable how little fun Now You See Me is. Granted, the script doesn't exactly ask these actors to do all that much, as these characters are incredibly one note and, in most cases, annoying as hell. Eisenberg in particular comes off as grating- his character is supposed to be the hero, but he constantly comes off as an annoying teenager you want to smack. But, really, Now You See Me just feels cheesy and poorly written. I have no interest in watching a film built around its twist ending only to find out that the twist was impossible for me to predict the whole time.

4.) Girl Most Likely (dir. Shari Springer Berman & Robert Pulcini)

As you watch Girl Most Likely, it will seem pretty clear that the film is a comedy of some sort. After all, Kristen Wiig is a successful comedian, Annette Bening is doing wacky things and saying things that aren't socially acceptable to say, Darren Criss is singing the Backstreet Boys in eyeliner and Matt Dillon is wearing a weird looking mustache. But this comedy is missing one major thing: jokes. The characters in Girl Most Likely are all morons, and the film mistakenly thinks that watching these characters do and say stupid things will be amusing for the audience but, really, it's just sad. The "joke" sequences are all unbearably long and stretched out, creating scenes that are just embarrassing for everyone involved and, especially, the audience. Wiig's Imogene is one of the strangest characters of the year- a woman who is meant to be quirky, but is so bizarre it's a minor miracle she's managed to live a reasonably normal life for as long as she has. Meanwhile, the script shoves a totally unbelievable romance between her and Criss, a poorly developed mother/daughter subplot with a wasted Bening, and an ending that is so strange I can't believe people as talented as this would actually sign on. Thankfully, this film flew almost entirely under the radar as I'm afraid it'd destroy Wiig's credibility as a leading lady. It's a disaster.

3.) Gangster Squad (dir. Ruben Fleischer)

Watching Gangster Squad is like attending a really expensive Hollywood Halloween party, where all the stars invited have to dress as 1950s gangsters and drunkenly try to imitate the actors from that era. Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone and Sean Penn are all talented actors, but they are all embarrassingly bad in this overly stylized and incredibly uninteresting movie. The dialogue in the film is awful, the sets and costumes feel fake, and the film's uneven mixture of "do-gooder" heroism and disturbing violence becomes distracting and uncomfortable to watch. By the end, the film dissolves into nothing more than a contest between Sean Penn and Ryan Gosling to see who could possibly go more over the top with their roles, while Emma Stone is asked to do nothing but make sexual double entendres and look good in a red dress. Josh Brolin's hero is irritating where he should be inspiring, and the plot is almost entirely undeveloped. Do yourself a favor- if you're itching to watch good actors beat up bad guys in a period piece, rent The Untouchables. Or, if you really want to watch something good, check out Curtis Hanson's masterpiece, LA Confidential. But never, under any circumstance, rent Gangster Squad, unless you desperately want to discover how a two-time Oscar winner like Sean Penn could ever give a performance this bad.

2.) Texas Chainsaw 3D (dir. John Luessenhop)

I don't expect much from slasher films- stupid teenagers, ridiculously violent deaths and gratuitous nudity will usually be enough for me to enjoy myself in some way. But I do expect one thing from slasher films, and all films in general: competence. And Texas Chainsaw 3D is such an incompetent film that I almost can't believe somebody at Lionsgate watched it and thought, "Yep, this is fit for release." The movie feels unfinished. The film is directed terribly, features amateurish acting, and the death scenes all feel like they haven't even gone through the special effects or editing process yet. Dead bodies look like mannequins, and the gore looks like something you could buy at a local costume store around Halloween. But the most offensive thing about Texas Chainsaw 3D is the plot- a storyline so over the top and convoluted, yet so poorly thought out, that I'd almost prefer no plot at all. Please, slasher-remake writers, try to make up for the clichés of your genre with witty dialogue and interesting characters- don't try and surprise everyone with major third act twists. But, on the bright side, it did provide one of the funniest moments from every film this year. Unfortunately, that scene was not supposed to make us laugh.

1.) The Canyons (dir. Paul Schrader)

What do you get when you combine a porn star, a celebrated author turned hated Twitter user, the writer of Taxi Driver and Lindsay Lohan? Apparently, the worst movie of 2013. The Canyons is 99 minutes of nonsense. IMDb claims that there is a plot, but I failed to notice one. What I did notice was a never ending parade of sex scenes, full frontal nudity, inane dialogue masquerading as intellectual discussion and the horrifying objectification and misuse of a former child star with a drug problem. I'm told Bret Easton Ellis is an intelligent man, and the adaptations of his work lead me to believe that such a claim must be true, but his script does not do much to back up that claim. The film seems to be asking questions about society and the way modern technology has made us obsessed with the lives of others, but all that shows up on screen is a bunch of twenty-somethings complaining, typically while naked. And while the sex scenes are trying to be shocking and titillating, they often come off as boring or ridiculous- which is even more surprising given the fact that the film has porn star James Deen in one of the lead roles. But one can only listen to so much horrible dialogue and stare at James Deen's penis/ Lindsay Lohan's breasts for so long before they start to watch the clock and hope for the film's end credits. At the very least, the film reminds us that Lindsay Lohan is a fairly talented actress with a lot of untapped potential, and now that she's gone to rehab and has remained clean she has the potential for a major career comeback. It's just a shame that her latest film appearance is in a film this disgusting.

Well, there you have it. I'll be posting my Top 10 of the year this Sunday! Happy Oscar weekend, movie nerds. Thanks for reading!

Updating My Oscar Predictions

We're getting into the heat of Oscar season, with only The Wolf of Wall Street and American Hustle going unseen (though the latter has held test screenings and some reactions are available online). While the Best Picture race seems to have come down to a duel between 12 Years a Slave and Gravity, there is a lot of heavy competition this year in a variety of categories, and it's still too early to call anybody a frontrunner. Once we get into December and find out who's nominated for Golden Globes, SAGs and Critic Choice Awards we may have a better idea as to who is a full-on threat and who's a likely snub, but for now we're just going to have to do a lot of speculating. So, without further adieu-

THE SCREENPLAYS-

In the adapted category, 12 Years a Slave poises a fairly big threat to the rest of the competition. The Best Picture contender will, most likely, emerge the frontrunner as we delve deeper into the season, and it's hard to imagine any other movie coming out as a major threat. The biggest threat at the moment is Before Midnight, but that film has very little chance in other major categories, whereas 12 Years a Slave will be a major player for the awards season as a whole. Before Midnight is almost guaranteed a nomination, but a win just doesn't seem likely.

Also likely to be nominated is Philomena, a supposedly heartwarming dramadey that has the unstoppable force of The Weinstein Company behind it. With a Thanksgiving release date, the film is entering the Oscar fray at the perfect time and will likely remain in conversation for the rest of the year. Still waiting to be seen, The Wolf of Wall Street's screenplay could present itself as a threat (assuming the film delivers, of course). We've also got Captain Phillips and The Secret Life of Walter Mitty to consider, as well as August: Osage County and Labor Day, though the less than positive reviews for those two have made me worry about their chances.

Moving on to Original Screenplay, competition is proving to be pretty fierce. Saving Mr. Banks, Nebraska, Inside Llewyn Davis and Blue Jasmine are all right up the Academy's alley, while the unseen American Hustle will likely appeal to them as well, especially since many view Russell as overdue for an award after losing in the Adapted category last year. There is also Spike Jonze's Her to consider. While the film isn't exactly Oscar friendly, the Academy honored Charlie Kauffman's screenplays for Being John Malkovich and Adaptation., and the reviews for Her have been unanimously positive. It's definitely a contender. There is, of course, also Gravity, but the fact that so much of the film involves special effects as opposed to dialogue makes me doubt it has a serious chance in the category (though, rest assured, it will be amongst the biggest films at the ceremony). Potential underdogs include Enough Said, Dallas Buyers Club and Lee Daniels' The Butler, though they would need a pretty big push to break into this competitive field.

Current predictions for Best Adapted Screenplay:

1. John Ridley, 12 Years a Slave
2. Richard Linklater, Julie Deply and Ethan Hawke, Before Midnight
3. Billy Ray, Captain Phillips
4. Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope, Philomena
5. Terence Winter, The Wolf of Wall Street

Current predictions for Best Original Screenplay:

1. Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell, American Hustle
2. Woody Allen, Blue Jasmine
3. Spike Jonze, Her
4. Joel and Ethan Coen, Inside Llewyn Davis
5. Kelly Marcel and Sue Smith, Saving Mr. Banks

BEST DIRECTOR:

Similar to the Best Picture category,  Best Director has largely been narrowed down to two contenders: Steve McQueen and Alfonso Cuaron. Both are virtually locked for a nomination, though it is perhaps too early to declare either a lock for the win. But as for the rest of the field? It's a bit of a bloodbath. Veterans like Martin Scorsese and the Coen brothers will be duking it out with relatively new favorites like David O. Russell and Paul Greengrass. Meanwhile, Spike Jonze, J.C. Chandor, Alexander Payne, and Lee Daniels all have a (slight) chance at breaking in to the field. But the contender I'm most interested in is John Lee Hancock- Saving Mr. Banks sounds like it will be an Academy favorite, and if they respond to it particularly well I could see it breaking into the top five. It certainly doesn't hurt that Saving Mr. Banks will be fresh in voters' memories, whereas films like Captain Phillips won't be as relevant as they were three months ago. It may be an unpopular pick at the moment, but I have a feeling that Hancock will surprise over the course of the next month and become a major player in this year's race.

Current predictions for Best Director:

1. Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity
2. John Lee Hancock, Saving Mr. Banks
3. Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave
4. David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
5. Martin Scorsese, The Wolf of Wall Street

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: 

I'd like to call Lupita Nyong'o a lock for the win. My review of 12 Years a Slave should be posted by Friday, but I will say now that I just can't imagine a scenario where she doesn't come out the victor. But, this is the Academy, and they've had more than their fair share of surprising snubs. So, Nyong'o is no lock- but she is the frontrunner. Her biggest competition, however, is none other than Oprah Winfrey, who is not only a major star in a baity role but a role that will have the Weinstein's backing it. It's a tough call, but Oprah could swoop in and take the prize home. After that, it's not quite that competitive, but it's a fairly crowded field. Jennifer Lawrence has spent most of the second half of the year in the spotlight, and is arguably the biggest star in Hollywood at the moment. While there aren't any official reviews for American Hustle, prescreening buzz indicates that she is the highlight of the movie and the Academy clearly enjoys her work. She could certainly earn her third nomination this year. June Squibb has also been named the highlight of Nebraska by a number of critics, though the film isn't as Oscar friendly as some of the other movies this year, which could work against her. Some other possibilities include Julia Roberts, Octavia Spencer, Naomie Harris, Sarah Paulson, Margo Martindale and (maybe) Scarlett Johansson's voice work in Her. 

Current predictions for Best Supporting Actress:

1. Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
2. Lupita Nyong'o, 12 Years a Slave
3. Julia Roberts, August: Osage County
4. June Squibb, Nebraska
5. Oprah Winfrey, Lee Daniels' The butler

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:

Best Supporting Actor has largely become a three man war between Jared Leto, Michael Fassbender and Tom Hanks. All three are virtually locks for a nomination. If I had to predict a winner, I'd bet on Leto, who is the heart and soul of Dallas Buyers Club (my review will be up by Saturday). But, as I mentioned before, Saving Mr. Banks will appeal to the Academy quite a bit, and Hanks is a legend who hasn't been in the spotlight for quite some time. Fassbender, meanwhile, could get the trophy if the Academy goes crazy for 12 Years a Slave, but his horrifying performance could cost him a few votes, not to mention the fact that he does not plan on campaigning for the win. He's bound to be nominated, but is the least likely of the three to win. After that, it's a bit of a guessing game. Barkhad Abdi could find his way into the Top 5, as could James Gandolfini or John Goodman, but that will largely depend on how they fare at the precursor award ceremonies. I'm also interested in seeing how critics respond to Bradley Cooper and Jonah Hill once their respective movies premiere. I'm not anticipating much from Hill, but Cooper looks incredible in the American Hustle footage, making me think he could earn a second Oscar nomination. Finally, as a potential dark horse candidate, Woody Harrelson could sneak in there, but I have a feeling the supposedly dark and unfriendly Out of the Furnace will come and go in December a la Killing Them Softly. 

Current predictions for Best Supporting Actor:

1. Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
2. Bradley Cooper, American Hustle
3. Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave
4. Tom Hanks, Saving Mr. Banks
5. Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club

BEST ACTRESS:

Many seem to think that Sandra Bullock is a serious threat to Cate Blanchett for the win, but I don't buy it. Blanchett is still the clear frontrunner to me, and while Bullock may be nominated I can't see the Academy giving her a second Best Actress statuette so quickly, especially for a film that is largely impressive due to its special effects. The only potential upset that I could see happening is one that involves Judi Dench, who has been receiving raves for her work in Philomena. The Weinsteins have toppled frontrunners a number of times (Exhibit A: Streep beating out Viola Davis back in 2012), but we'll have to see if Dench can campaign hard enough over the course of the next few months. From there, we have four potential nominees: Amy Adams, Emma Thompson, Adele Exarchopolous and Meryl Streep. Having been nominated four times over the past seven years, Adams seems to be an Academy favorite, and with the help of David O. Russell, who has a talent for getting his actors nominated, she could find herself with a fifth bid for the win. Thompson, meanwhile, has been largely absent from awards season for quite some time, but she has a baity role in a feel-good film. The odds aren't exactly in Exarchopolous' favor at the moment, but Blue is the Warmest Color has some passionate supporters and she could find her way into the Top 5. And, finally, we have this to consider: can Streep get nominated for a film that isn't receiving positive reviews? I'm inclined to go with "yes" for now, but that could certainly change after the SAGs and Golden Globes. 

Current predictions for Best Actress:

1. Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
2. Sandra Bullock, Gravity
3. Judi Dench, Philomena
4. Meryl Streep, August: Osage County
5. Emma Thompson, Saving Mr. Banks

BEST ACTOR:

As of right now, Chiwetel Ejiofor seems like the guy to beat.The buzz around one time major threat Robert Redford has begun to die down, largely due to the film's muted box office results. It will be interesting to see if Redford makes it into the lineups for any of the precursor awards and, if he doesn't, his chances for a Best Actor bid are slim to none. But, for now, he's certainly within the Top 5 biggest contenders. Also climbing the ranks is Matthew McConaughey, who will likely solidify his career transformation with his first Oscar nomination. Bruce Dern also appears to be a serious presence within the Top 5, especially since the Academy seems to love Alexander Payne. The biggest question amongst the Top 5, however, is if Tom Hanks can earn himself a nomination in both the Lead and Supporting category. It seems likely at the moment- but, once American Hustle and The Wolf of Wall Street premiers, that could change. On the outskirts of the Top 5 are Idris Elba, Joaquin Phoenix and Forest Whitaker. 

Current predictions for Best Actor:

1. Bruce Dern, Nebraska
2. Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave
3. Tom Hanks, Captain Phillips
4. Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
5. Robert Redford, All is Lost

BEST PICTURE:

At this point, it feels redundant to explain my rankings for Best Picture as I've mentioned their standings throughout the article. So, here are my predictions for what will make the cut for the biggest award of the night. As of right now, I'm predicting nine films to be nominated:

1. 12 Years a Slave
2. American Hustle
3. Captain Phillips
4. Gravity
5. Inside Llewyn Davis
6. Lee Daniels' The Butler
7. Philomena
8. Saving Mr. Banks
9. The Wolf of Wall Street

Early next month, I'll begin predicting the remaining categories in the field. I'll also be returning to reviewing full time, with reviews for 12 Years a Slave and Dallas Buyers Club to be posted over the weekend. 

In the meantime, follow me on Twitter and Letterboxd.