Rock of Ages: Movie Review

In a weird way, Rock of Ages isn't all that different from the 80s rock songs it showcases. With very few exceptions, a majority of 80s rock is cheesy, over the top, and is enjoyed ironically by modern listeners. Rock of Ages isn't all that different. While it's (fairly) enjoyable, it is most certainly not a 'good' movie/

Opening with one of the cheesiest movie-musical moments this side of High School Musical, the oh-so conveniently named Sherrie Christian arrives in Hollywood with a suitcase full of records and very little cash (because, if you are a talented singer and truly love rock music, there is no problem with that plan). She quickly finds herself working in The Bourbon Room, a sleazy bar well known for being the starting place for many of rock's greatest legends, including Stacee Jax. Jax is a sexist, alcoholic, and washed up rock legend who will be returning to the Bourbon Room for a farewell concert which will, hopefully, save the bar from closing down. A bunch of other stuff goes on too: Sherrie falls in love with an aspiring rock star and, naturally, complications ensue. Catherine Zeta Jones shows up every once in a while to talk about shutting down the Bourbon Room. Mary J. Blige owns a strip club and sings a lot. Characters become so upset with their relationship drama that they become strippers and/or boy band members. A monkey wears a dictator outfit and throws stuff around rooms. And, of course, everybody breaks out into song and the purity of rock music is celebrated (even though, let's face it, the fact that all these songs are appearing in a musical shows that the music industry is fueled by business, not passion.)

This may sound like a negative review but, in fact, I did enjoy some of what  Rock of Ages had to offer and certainly don't regret spending $10 on it.  The movie is fast paced, the dance numbers are well choreographed, and the music is, well, about as enjoyable as most 80s rock, with the added benefit of seeing A-list stars belting the tunes. Some songs work better than others, sure. The highlight of the film is (easily) the strip-club set rendition of "Any Way You Want It", while other songs (like the completely unnecessary "I Can't Fight This Feeling" or an uncomfortably long version of "I Want to Know What Love Is") fall flat. But, the film manages to be enjoyable throughout and throws so much at you that it's hard to ever get bored.

Also adding to the film's entertainment factor is Tom Cruise. Whatever the media may paint Cruise to be, there is no denying that he's a talented actor who will give 100% to a role, no matter what is asked of him. Playing shock rocker Stacee Jax may not be his most challenging role, or even his best, but he is definitely the number one reason to check out the film. As for the rest of the cast, the film does a poor job of giving everybody enough time to shine, regardless of how talented they may be. Leads Jullianne Hough and Diego Boneta are good enough to carry the film, but don't expect either of them to win an Oscar any time soon. Alec Baldwin and Catharine Zeta Jones are clearly having a great time singing and dancing and are a lot of fun to watch, but they both don't have anywhere near enough screen time to make their characters worth remembering. Malin Akerman is given a completely unnesescary role that requires her to strip down to her bra and panties and mimic sex positions with Cruise. Russell Brand will either annoy you or entertain you, depending on whether or not you appreciate his comedic stylings. And Mary J. Blige, quite simply, seems completely miscast. Honestly, Rock of Ages is the sort of film that won't leave you feeling guilty for watching, but won't exactly fall in love with either. There is just as many problems as there are positive attributes in this film, and the joys of 80s rock can only take you so far.

The idea of 'purity in music' may be a bit cheesy and even questionable, but we've seen such an idea seem completely legitimate in classics such as Almost Famous, cult films like Empire Records or even pretty forgettable ones, like Reality Bites. Yet, Rock of Ages seems almost completely commercial and superficial so, as the credits prepare to role and Diego Boneta celebrates the fact that rock will never die, it comes off as cheesy and obnoxious. There's nothing wrong with the fact that the film incorporates previously recorded hits but, to dress itself up as some sort of portrait of the greatness of rock 'n roll is self righteous. I won't deny it, I actually enjoyed watching this film and loved Tom Cruise's performance. But, with a messy script, hit-or-miss casting, and more cheesiness than the director intended to incorporate, the film is far from a great one. Yes, Diego Boneta, rock 'n roll may never die. But by the end of the year, I'm fairly certain this film will be all but forgotten.

OVERALL GRADE: C+